Cyclic

They say everything moves in cycles. possibly true. So one minute you are up, the other you are down. Duration of stages in the cycle can greatly differ, I guess its how you view the situation.

Soooo, IF you have been following me (unlikely, which is all good), you should know that:

2004: sister, aneurysm
Status from 2004 to present: Mich now works, so yay for her in that regard. But her lack of drive, her lack of lust for life, her happiness with being relegated to being a bum, well, that has stayed. Its easy to blame my mother for it, but I won't, as she is old enough to know what is right and wrong, and how not to burden other people needlessly. She probably has lost a marble or two, but the selfishness that is currently presiding is just not good enough.

2007: Moved to laos
Status from 2004 to present: After the rollercoaster drama of being home, dealing with the fam, drinking myself til 8 am every weekend and working myself to death, I move to Laos, where I worked myself to death also, but also ended up meeting my future husband. I am now married and 2 months pregnant. I honestly can't ask for more. My life is blessed.

December 2009: Daddy diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer.
Current status: One round of chemo done, On the second round now, with one session today, and another next week. Initially weak, but currently gaining strength and walking unaided.

So, cyclic. I was able to cheer up and be happy for hmmm 3 years before I'm told that the man who has played the leading role in my life is going to die within the next 3 months if he doesn't do chemo, and 6 months to 2 years if he responds well to treatment.

There must be a reason why parents are supposed to let kids go, like emotionally go,because for me, I am directly linked to my father. I am 34 and he still called me every other day, and texts me every day, and I live in a different country!

As usual, my mother is not accustomed to certain ways of thinking, like POSITIVE thinking, or adaptive management. No, she's the KAYA KO To attitude. She makes mura everyone, especially the maids, she can't accept help from people and well, she's tiring herself to death. Just what I needed, two dead parents. NICE. she's also worried that her money is going to run out...hay.

anyway, today is a good day. life is good. I am expecting a child. My parents love each other so much they want to do die together. nice.

soft opening

I've had this for a few years now, and I again, think that I should be paying for this site, as it helped me recover to the state that I am in now..all happy and shiny, well about love that is, I'm so NOT happy and shiny about many other things--> the state of our nation, hunger around the world, environmental degradation...

but in any case, I am now, opening this blog to the world. I'm a little worried about the criticisms and crappy comments about my thoughts, worried that I may post some sort of racial slur accidentally (like I did yesterday on fb!) and get crucified for it (sheesh, isn't that another rude thing to say?)

But I have been encouraged by a few friends, that I write real, and I write raw. I'm not trying to gain popularity, and I have no affiliations with anyone. I love my friends and am not here to share their dirty secrets. We all have secrets. We are also all human, so be nice, okay?

I'm also trying to import my posts from friendster, but, I'm not too good at this, as tech savvy as I am, I can't download torrents.

My thought for today is:

The Philippines Sucks. It really does. Its time we all owned up to it. Our politics suck. The fact that we have millions of hungry people makes us suck. The fact that we are getting robbed blind by people in power makes us suck. The fact that our senate meets about videos instead of doing their work and we STILL watch it on TV makes us suck. We have a false sense of social with all of our swanky malls, our coffee shops and country clubs, but at the end of the day, we don't care about each other, about our nation, but we will happily complain about it.

When are the people in power going to answer for the problems they have caused? And when are we going to take responsibility for making our country the way it is because we have been apathetic?

hmph. not shiny and surely not happy.

Here it goes!