Tuesday, January 22, 2008

High School Love

This blog is of limited circulation, because at the moment I am using it more as a platform to share how I actually feel about something, and I don't have (you) my friends here to give me their comments, to make fun of me, or give me advice and all that...so, your comments and jokes are totally welcome as I need to feel like I have you to talk to this about here, as I go through this daily..(especially your jokes, I could certainly use some levity in this situation!)

I haven't fallen out of love with my ipod, but I would be lying if I didn't say my attention has refocused somewhat, elsewhere..

No, I'm not here to blog about who he is and why I like him. I want to focus on this high school feeling that can be good in some ways, but seriously suck in others.
I feel like I am having an asthma attack and ill in general...

Shortness of breath? CHECK
Light headed-ness? CHECK
Lack of concentration? CHECK
Loss of appetite? CHECK
Lack of sleep? (super) CHECK
Nauseous? CHECK

It sucks double because I am usually so logical, so in control, so restrictive about my emotions..and I feel so unsure about how to react, how to converse...its seriously driving me crazy!

But I can't dispute that sometimes, this also feels good..because I am finally (?) ready to relate to someone new and its good to feel :)
Alright alright, it feels good okay? I feel like a kid, not knowing what to do, what to say.

Yesterday, on our way back to GML, he offered me an apple. There were 4 of us, and he came up to me and said, would you like an apple?

Such a simple question, where, if anyone else said it to me, would not make me feel queasy and light headed..

Why does this feel so high school!