Friday night

ITs friday night, I'm sitting in front of my lap top writing a post. I'ts brown out and damn hot..welcome to manila! HAd a few beers with my boss, Jaime, quite a cool guy...

Driving home I was listening to an evanescence song..the one about pain and how its too real. I guess over all that's how I feel. I can't find my way out of the darkness unless I can imagine the light...but I guess I'm not at that stage of healing yet. I'm at the how could my sister desert me and how can she be slacking off at a time like this phase..and a I can't believe he found stable work in less than two weeks after breaking up..evidently he needs shock treatment and is not a planner by nature...he's better off without me...all my encouragement and motivation for sweet f a. Happy weekend folks

I have a reunion tomorrow... Also meeting up with a potential..potential what I don't know..til the next post! ciao ba-by

Singapore Sling

I've been out of commission for a week. Was off to brunei to hug the trees before they cut them down. Even including in our report how they should set aside a 'sanctuary' for corporate social responsibility. Its tree hugging disguised as a selling point. I'm getting good at this. Still somewhat overwhelming, but getting the hang of it more or less.

My weekend was great. I stayed over night in Singapore and I tell you, Manila is just..lost. I don't mean in infrastructure, politics, lifestyle and all that jazz..I mean in the variety of people you can meet. Manila is cookie cutter country. We have a few molds and one batch of dough and you either become a socialite (by background) a socialite (by skill but this is to be determined by the socialites themselves), A social climber (usually those who marry into money or white...you choose), the poor (who will stay poor because its easier than trying to change), the worker ant (who will always be an employee and never an employer due to the lack of effort)..and the dramatic..but I think drama is mixed in the dough already.

I was sitting last night talking to a few friends and one girl could not STOP talking about herself and her family (oh how prestigous they are).. I wanted to get up and just leave..considering she is actually a somewhat nice girl..but still..woman.,..move along! I guess this can also be brough upon the fact that I have issues at the moment and didn't want to hear inane crap..but anyway...this is actually leading to something.

SO yes, Singapore, friday night at the local irish pub..and I tell you, here, you are no one. In Manila you may be the most well known actor, model, scientist, fashionista, metrosexual..but in singapore you are just you. Its the same in the UK and even in the states if you keep away from the 'disney' crowd- those who moved from Manila and gravitate around each other.

I was actually talking to a very good friend of mine the other week about the bliss of being no one else where..No social class, no mold to fit in, no pressures...

Suffice to say I had fun in singapore..it was fun, wild and full of shopping. I drank copious amounts of alcohol (thanks to Kev), saw the sun rise from the balcony of Orchard Parade, and beat a local shark at pool..how much better could that have been?

Change over time

I'm a scientist. I always try to view things in a very logical, scientific manner...but since I am female (no complaints please!) I am also quite emotional..so go figure...a scientific emotional approach is my usual mode of operation...Depending on the situation at hand it can change from scientific emotional to emotionally scientific.

My boyfriend and I just broke up. After about6 years of dating each other, making plans for the future, standing my ground against my stubborn, opinionated, racist and demanding parents, we break up.

I'm not going into the why's and wherefore's because everyone has their reasons. What I want to talk about is trends...(scientist here) Everything has a trend...even things that you think are random have trends. El nino has a trend..people take the trouble to do surveys to identify changes over time..changes in coral assemblage, changes in community structure, changes in dead coral and dead coral with algae, changes in faunal assemblage of mangroves...but most importantly, people should survey changes in their lives. Usually this is done on ones birthday when they reach past the age of parties. You reflect about your life, what you have done, who have you touched...who's life have you ruined...that kind of thing.

But again, in science, you do things in intervals...and i think the life survey should be done in shorter intervals...not yearly, but quarterly and during times of rapid change.

But emotionally, why need the survey..just live life to the fullest and take the shots as they come (preferably not in the chest)..

The reason why you do the survey is so that you know or you can predict when the shots will come..but then again, it doesn't exactly hurt any less no matter how prepared you are.

So what to do? Scientific or emotional? I go both ways..throw yourself in and live in the moment but do periodical surveys to assess where you are at the given time..so that you can prepare yourself for the moment you have been dreading and wallow in the unhappiness that you knew was coming..

Happy thoughts from an unhappy girl.