Love or something like it...according to friendster

Two days and I haven't posted anything...mainly because there was nothing of interest happening to me but I still should have made some effort...anyway...today I have a topic of interest..So whats the story?
I have this ex.. I have a present boyfriend... I have this 'what if' guy..and one reliable guy who was an ex but is now just a friend...and a best friend..just to set the scene.

So here I am, down in the dumps, like Im in that millionaire game..the one where you have one life line? My past few weeks have been about life lines since I am in quite a state...(reaad past blogs or posts)...Have been fighting with present boyfriend so things there are just unstable..so I contact reliable guy and somehow for the first time ever in my life he is not so reliable..can't reach him, doesn't text back...I guess he doesn't realize the severity of this situation of mine...or maybe he doesnt care since he's snagged this hot young thing..(but thats a different story all together) (side comment, its not like I care that he's dating this girl..I just expected him to be there like I was for him when his ex broke up with him and he was devastated) Sooo..no go there..more down in the dumps thinking 'I'm a fat loser no one cares!' So I contact ex and the 'what if' guy..during this time the present boyfriend is constantly arguing with me...and ex responds in a 'will you marry me way' somewhat overwhelming! And 'what if' calls me all the way from where he is at (13hrs flying time to be exact)..that really cheered me up to no end since 'what if' comes from way back..Anyway, so now in my state I am confused...why am I with present, why not with ex? 'What if' is a bit of a question mark unless he gets his act together but I may be too difficult for him anyhow..ANYWAY..so now I am thinking how nice it was to be with ex. Remembering all the good things...and thinking this is nice and simple and good...Oh yeah, and in between this I contacted best friend (15 hrs away by flying) and she whips me into action..reprimands me for bad form and cheers me up..which present bf feels jealous about (god help me really..the relationships I get into!) And she also tells me to stop contacting ex since he was a loser then and still is a loser now..from her point of view anyway..but seriously I am considering ex..like did I make a mistake leaving him kind of consider.

So yesterday I met with boyfriend for the first time in a while and I felt happy...probably due to the attention given to me by 'what if' and presnt boyfriends ncier attitude about my dilemma..so where does this leave ex?

This is where friendster comes in (enter friendster stage left) Ex has always been a bit of a misfit...an outlier..not that that has ever had an effect on me..i seem to attract outsiders..so what does this all mean? Here I am considering this guy when he adds me on his friendster..Me, I have about a hundred friends or more and I checked out his site and I am his only friend and we have 'no friends in common'..if I wasn't so blind then I would have noticed the same thing in the past without friendster telling me that we really have no friends in common. I fthis is any indication of how our life might be for the rest of my life if I marry him..god help me!

Happy weekend to all you out there and if you are in Manila be glad for the 3 day weekend! Ciao bella :)

Lost in transit

So I'm home...after a long day at work...but then again that is nothing interesting is it. So, you ask...what happened to Ming that was interesting today (other than my daily dilemmas anyway)..I lost a consultant....did you hear that right? Yes, I sent an old man to the airport to go to Brunei and somehow, somewhere, he isn't there, he isn't here...I can't seem to locate him..I lost him in transit. I doubt your day could be much worse...but then again, as I said, this is free therapy for me...somewhere I could write down how I feel, how bad my day is, how sad I am about all the drama going on around me...I think I would win a 'who's got the craziest momma' contest. Hands down baby!

But the scary thing there is...don't they always say you'll grow up to be just like your mother!? (or is it men marry women like their mothers?) I get confused. So yeah...other than this its been peachy. My sister is ill, my mother is crazy, my father is a control freak and I am just me..count your lucky stars. Til the next.

(eds note (25.07.09)- I say a lot of grr things, mainly focused on my parents and sister in this blog, of which I apologize in advance. This is how I felt at the time I wrote this, and don't want to change it. My parents are great. They have their flaws, they are human. My family is not extraordinary in this way, but they are in others, as my sister survived an aneurysm, my mother raised her sisters and brothers AND us, and my father, well, he is the smartest most loving person I know..so, as common as we may seem in some ways, we are also extraordinary.

On the air

Testing...though I am sure it will work. First entry in my blog, which has supposedly become quite a fad, but that's not why I decided to make one. This is a selfish venture, a place where I can vent and not expect an answer, but at least I wrote it down. I should be paying for this since this is my therapy instead of paying a counsellor. Lets see how good it is. Til the next entry