Emergency Happy Thoughts (EHT strategy paper)

The only, I will use the word problem, but its not really a problem..anyway..The only problem with going away and finding some peace for your soul and for your mind to defrag* is that you also have a lot time to think and evaluate your life. Well, then again, that is the point. The way to defrag is to sift through thoughts and experiences and organize them into little box folders in your brain, methodically punching holes and placing the pages in ring binders, putting headers like ‘don’t do THAT again’ or ‘Emergency Happy Thoughts’ on the outside for easy referencing.

Okay, yeah yeah I know..this isn’t how its done, but I like to think that this is the way my mind does it (because I am so OC when it comes to notes and periodicals)..

Anyway…

My day is full, every day. I wake at 6:40 which is no easy feat for me and am ready by 7:05 every day. I ride down the escarpment to my office, the beautiful morning ride takes about half an hour. On the way down while watching the scenery which differs daily (more mist, less mist, more green, less green, more blue sky today, dark moody sky tomorrow) while talking to Marcel on whatever the topic of the morning is (today it was about diving and holidays). Eat breakfast at the office and start work at 8. Work til 12 (with some surfing breaks, obviously), lunch at 12 either at RNT, the French camp, or here at the office with the local staff. (ahh, the food, yet another blog entry waiting to happen), then lunch break for half an hour of sitting around chatting and checking email. I should end work at 5 but I usually work til about 5:30, or whenever Marcel asks if I am ready to go and play badminton. We play badminton until I see the futsal people show up and then I ditch Marcel to go play futsal with boys who are now finally accepting me as a boy (I now get shoved and kicked in the shins like any other player), then go back to Marcel to have a last round of badminton. Then we end this all around 8 or so, then dinner, either at the EM-1 camp, RNT or the Vietnam Road down here in Gnommalath. Or sometimes we go up a little early, back to Nakai and get dropped off at the Environment complex to eat with the other E&S staff, then walk back to our camp..half an hour walk. Again, walking, not one of my finer qualities!

So yeah, full full day from waking to bedtime..but you know, its killer stress free. My main issue yesterday is if I could buy yoghurt and if it would keep long enough before I get it to my fridge! So, this means that I have some pockets of time to think and my stress free mind is defragging continuously.

Which takes me back to my problem of evaluation. (see, the word issue doesn’t fit either..I guess I could call it a thing)…back to my thing about evaluation..

The normal questions ofcourse are:
How am I? What am I doing? Is everything alright? What else do I have to do? Do I have a good plan? Am I flexible enough? How do I treat the people around me? Am I a good person?

Then ofcourse, with the extra space from the lack of stress you also think:
Where am I now in my life, is this where I want to be?
Why things do happen to you when they do and what is the best way of handling things?
Have I handled things that have happened to me in the best way possible?
What do I like or not like about myself?
Are you really alright?

You see where I am going with this yeah? I mean, I am not one to avoid confrontation, especially when it’s the healthy sort, but it can still be daunting and overwhelming!

The hardest part is you are looking at all of this in the harsh light of self evaluation, the most critical critic, the most difficult person to please, yourself.

And this is where that grain of salt (or sugar) should come in (that comes out of your ‘Emergency Happy Thoughts” box)

I have a great family who are supportive and real. I have extremely supportive parents (somewhat overprotective, but such is life) and my immediate family (neices, nephews, cousins and siblings) are not only family, but also my friends.

I have many friends and I have a good diverse set of really good friends and I have my handful of people I would trust my life with, the circle of trust.

I have a good fulfilling job that helps me help the world (Go PLANET!) and lets me afford my lifestyle (eek!)

I’m nearly at the stage where I can say I am reasonably happy with how I look, no matter how many times you compare me against Naomi (ha ha ha, the poor nurse Nomes!)

I may be single, but life is good and if the right person who loves me comes, then he will. And if he doesn’t, well, I’ll just have kids :P

I’m a decent person who can be too nice, but then again, I can be quite a bitch, healthy combination.

Hmmm. I think I have just cheered myself up.

I guess the moral of the story is, you should know (normally) that your worst critic is yourself and that life is too short to be that harsh on yourself… live life responsibly, love life with passion and have a drink to celebrate!

*defrag- defragment: computer term that sorts through your files and reorganizes them and takes a look at the bad sectors and then reports back to you the status